About the "master"....

master....means what?

I prepared it and took the exam of IELTS for almost during two years in undergraduate...

I am in it... Now

But, why I feel lost ....lost the passion...?

pressure? lonely? They beat me dowm...

I doubt, what I am doing, what is the meaning of this?

begin to fear the fact...the future....the real life...
always have an impulsion to run away...

master means what for me...?
becoming a real master in my professional field? or learning these boring theories?
or watch a quite different world? But, in this strange world, I am just a looker outside...

ye...I adimt, being stronger this year...and learning to thinking in different points of view...
But, where is myself...? I lost ... lost my pure happiness, lost my life...

master ... it sounds great...great for the ppls hear it...
my friends always say, wow, good work, girl... u r so smate...hardworking...full of energy

while it makes me upset... I just want to be a little girl...silly, freely, have the time and mood to encounter a bf cherishing me, shooping, sleeping or even muzzing the whole day...

....I don't intend to be a superwoman... just let me feel peace and enjoy in my small universe...
I lost my passion...there is no light in front ...
when the work become a responsibilitity...for my parents, for ppls think "u should do"...
I really ....confuse my life...